January 2012
148 posts
3 tags
2 tags
6 tags
4 tags
1 tag
5 tags
Carrie: I just want to say right off, I don't know why I came back.
Alex: I think I do. You wanted to tell me what a jerk I was, how rude I was, how obnoxious, presumptuous, manipulative.
Carrie: Keep going, I think you're on to something.
5 tags
Mallory: I knew the answers, Alex. Maybe I'm smarter that I thought.
Alex: Maybe so. What was the fifth amendment to the US Constitution?
Mallory: I'd answer that, but I have the right to remain silent.
5 tags
I passed three boys who were singing "Make A Man...
5 tags
4 tags
2 tags
6 tags
2 tags
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Favorite food?
1 tag
One of my friends is trying to get me to call this...
How about no?
For anything that will come in my askbox I will...
angelsloveonlyinsecret:
3 tags
3 tags
1 tag
Gay Guys: All the hot guys are straight
Straight Guys: All the hot girls are lesbian
Lesbians: All the hot girls are straight
Straight Girls: All the hot guys are gay
Bisexual Guys: All the guys are taken, all the girls are whores
Bisexual Girls: All the guys are whores, all the girls are taken
Pansexuals: All you mothafuckas look alike.
Asexuals: The internet is really really great
Jack Harkness: So how about Saturday?
2 tags
Does anyone have that Darren awkward dancing gif?
markssailingthecrisscolfership:
youareavegetablaine:
christopherpaulboner:
thebrotherhoodofcrissandcook:
little-miss-criss:
lessthan3stargleekpotter:
500daysofrainbows:
meggysnow:
moonshoespotterstarkid:
shanksbonermuseum:
klainehummelanderson:
doonarose:
livlovesstuff:
accio—darren:
delilahlovett:
dobbyisabamf:
threepwillow:
jessitheblonde:
which one?
...
5 tags
Jeff: Does Mallory-
Alex: She likes you, Jeff.
Jeff: Oh. Good.
Alex: So what are you waiting for? Why don't you ask her out?
Jeff: What if she says, "no"?
Alex: She won't.
Jeff: What if she says, "yes"?
Alex: Then you go out with her.
Jeff: That's even scarier.
So I went out for food.
I wore my Slytherin robe because it is freaking cold outside.
I was walking into the student union when somebody on their phone said, “I’ve just seen Harry Potter. Yea, he’s outside the student union!”
People amuse me.
1 tag
DeJaVu, man.
So I want food.
But I don’t want to go get it.
And I don’t want to get out of my pajamas.
But I want food.
Meh.
I’ll just go get food in my PJs…
Problem solved.
4 tags
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
4 tags
9 tags
5 tags
Balthazar: What's wrong with your tesla coil? It seems to be firing on it's own.
*Tesla coil zaps Dave and knocks him backward*
Dave: Funny. Really, really funny.
Balthazar: This'll be hilarious, then.
*Balthazar sips tea while tesla coil shocks Dave off screen*
1 tag
I'm THE WORST texter when I'm on Tumblr
most-awkward-moments:
I get a text message and I’m like
Then I see something on Tumblr
Then mad long later I’m like, I’m forgetting something
Then I see the text from 2 hours ago..
Awkward? Like to laugh? Click here!
3 tags
The 1st GIF in your folder that starts with an 's'...
elisabethsholmes:
colferninja:
scrunchyporcelain:
cumbermans:
solar-tsunami:
moriartysliveinchum:
cinnamon-lady24:
deliciouslycheesy:
mishafordinner:
chadleymacguff:
I shit you not.
5 tags
Balthazar: Your ring is not a piece of jewelry. It projects the electrical energy of your nervous system into the physical world. Without his ring, a sorcerer is powerless. The only other thing a sorcerer needs, is a nice pair of pointy shoes.
Balthazar: *tosses Dave some shoes* Your rubber soles block the current.
Balthazar: Plus it helps you look classy.
Dave: These are old man shoes. *sees Balthazar is wearing them*
Balthazar: Excuse me?
Dave: I love them.
Dave:
Dave: A lot.
5 tags
Balthazar: I am Balthazar Blake, sorcerer of the 777th degree. And you are my apprentice.
Dave: Sweet.
5 tags
Balthazar: This is the Merlin's Circle. It focuses your energy, helps you master new spells. It is where you will learn the art. Step inside, you leave everything else behind. Once you enter, there is no.
Balthazar: Going.
Balthazar: Back.
Dave: So I should probably pee first? Better safe than-
Balthazar:
Dave: I can hold it.
3 tags
“Go team magical stuff!”
– Dave Stutler
5 tags
Dave: Clear my mind?! Are you insane!?!
Balthazar:
5 tags
*Sun-Lok falls out a window and lands in front of Dave*
Dave: Are you alright?
Crowd: *starts clapping*
Dave: Haha, yea. I'm like one of them. *as Sun-Lok stands and glares at Dave*
Balthazar: *from above* Dave? You should run.
Dave: *nervous chuckle*
Dave: *runs*
5 tags
Balthazar: Civilians mustn't know magic exists. That would be complicated.
Dave: Says the guy in the three-hundred and fifty-year-old rawhide trench coat.
5 tags
Balthazar: Put on the ring.
Dave: Uuuuhhh.
Balthazar: Nothing's going to happen.
Dave: *puts on the ring. The car swerves*
Balthazar: *straightening car* Kidding.
5 tags
Balthazar: Try to be a good listener, Dave. That doll is called a Grimhold. It is a prison for the most dangerous Morganians in history, each one locked up in a layer of the doll. Horvath wants to free his fellow Morganians and destroy the world.
Balthazar: This.
Balthazar: Must.
Balthazar: Not.
Balthazar: Happen.
Dave: Yea. For sure.
3 tags
I also talk to inanimate objects...
Dave: *tries his metro card*
Card reader: Please swipe again.
Dave: *does so*
Card reader: *let's him in*
Dave: Thank-you!
5 tags
Balthazar: I've got something I'd like to show you, Dave.
Dave: How'd you know my name was Dave?
Balthazar: Because I can read minds!
Dave:
Balthazar: It's on your backpack.